508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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