You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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