MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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