i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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