WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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