seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
