it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
