I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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