if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
As shirtless as possible
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
