Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So many bounce houses so little time
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
