Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
