I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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