Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
