I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
