i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
