I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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