I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
