I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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