you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
