Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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