So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
