Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm passing your future prison.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Found the puke drawer
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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