And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
nutella sex= disaster
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
