why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
