Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
