the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
