I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
