i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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