I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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