Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
