She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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