i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
