If i come over, it means nothing
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
