Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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