i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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