There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
