At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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