The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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