then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
