i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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