Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
