Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
