mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
