do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You smell like stripper and shame
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
