this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just want to make out with him forever
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
