My liver just broke up with me...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
