Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
