If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't think brook has ever known best
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
