i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
