and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
